Musings of An Old Man

by Brian K. Moore

POME IN HONOR OF PRESIDENT DIEEN

By Myron K. Bore

THE FIRST TIME THAT I MET DIEEN
SHE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN
AND SURE TO BE A BEAUTY QUEEN.

YES THAT’S RIGHT SHE DIDN’T DALLY,
SHE BECAME MISS APPLE VALLEY
WHICH WAS REALLY UP HER ALLEY

FOR THEN, LIKE NOW, SHE WAS A DOER,
AND SO ALL OF US THAT KNEW HER,
KNEW THAT THIS COULD NOT BE TRUER.

WHEN SHE GO A LITTLE OLDER,
AND SHE GREW A LITTLE BOLDER,
SOON SHE’S PEERING O’ER MY SHOULDER.

AT THE PLAN UPON MY TABLE,
SCRUTINIZING ALL SHE’S ABLE,
MAKING NOTES ABOUT THE LABEL.

WHEN SHE’D DONE THIS THEN SHE RAN,
SO SHE COULD SAY TO HER OLD MAN,
“BRIAN’S WORKING ON A PLAN

AND IF YOU DON’T CARE HOW YOU TREAT HIM,
MAYBE YOU COULD BID AND BEAT HIM,
AND PERHAPS YOU COULD UNSEAT HIM

FROM THE PLACE HE OCCUPIES,
IN THIS SPECIAL CLIENT’S EYES,
AND YOU COULD TRIM HIM DOWN TO SIZE.”

WELL THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT WENT,
CAUSE HER FATHER WAS A GENT,
AND I NEVER LOST A CENT.

NOW IT WAS A LITTLE LATER,
SHE BECAME A JAM CREATOR,
AND HER TALENTS GREW E’ER GREATER,

JAMS AND JELLIES, BEST BY FAR,
SHE WOULD CAN THEM IN A JAR.
THEN SHE’D PUT THEM IN HER CAR,

AND SHE’D TAKE THEM OVER THERE.
THOSE JAMS AND JELLIES MADE WITH CARE,
AND WIN ALL THE PRIZES AT THE FAIR.

I SUSPECT SHE’LL SET A PRECEDENT,
THIS OLD APPLE VALLEY RESIDENT,
AS THE CLUB’S FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT.

LOOK AT DIANE-HOW SHE GLEAMS,
GOSH, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.
SHE IS USUALLY IN HER JEANS.

AND THOUGH TONIGHT SHE LOOKS QUITE DRESSY,
HER REGIME JUST MIGHT BE MESSY,
AFTER THIS SUAVE GUY, FERRARESE.

SHE’LL PROBABLY SHOVE US ON A BUS.
AND THOUGH WE MAKE AND AWFUL FUSS.
SHE’LL SAY IT WILL BE GOOD FOR US.

WE’LL RIDE FOR MILES WHILE FEELING THINNER,
AND THEN SHE’LL COME UP WITH A WINNER.
AND FIND SOME REAL CUTE PLACE FOR DINNER.

WELL—WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE,
FOR DRIVE AND PURPOSE, SHE’S THE ONE.
AND WE’LL HAVE A LOT OF FUN.
p=. ANDWITH THAT THIS POEM’S DONE.