Musings of An Old Man

by Brian K. Moore

ANNIVERSARY 67

Anniversary 67, I face it alone
For the love of my life forever is gone

My life now is full of sadness and grief
But the wonderful memories, do bring some relief

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I STILL CAN’T TALK ABOUT PHYLLIS

2009

It is March 2009 and Phyllis has been gone for almost 3 months and I still can’t talk about her. I can say things like, “Phyllis used to sit here” or “She liked a VO…

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IT’S OK TO TALK ABOUT PHYLLIS

Frequently people notice that when the conversation turns to Phyllis, I tear up and choke up, and they will say, “Oh, I’m sorry.” They feel that they have caused me grief by making me think about…

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PHYLLIS AND BRIAN NOTICE

1937

There came a time when Phyllis and I began to notice each other. When I noticed that I was noticing Phyllis, I thought “But she’s just a kid!” And when Phyllis noticed that she was…

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PHYLLIS’ MOM

I first met Phyllis’ mother Marge the same time that I first met Phyllis. Marge was a divorcee, age 31, who my brother, Joe age 21, was dating. I met her because my mother had asked…

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PHYLLIS AND BRIAN BREAK IN

1940

This is a story that 90 year olds do not usually tell to their children and grandchildren, but my memories of Phyllis would be sadly incomplete with out it.

Before Phyllis and I were married,…

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PHYLLIS’ HOSPITALITY

1941

This is another tale that 90 year olds usually don’t tell to their children or grandchildren, but since this group of stories is entitled “Memories of Phyllis,” and since I am the rememberer, I must…

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THE HONEYMOON TRIP

1942

My first meeting with my future father-in-law was handled by me in a less than ideal fashion. Since I was the brother of his ex wife’s husband, Phyllis and I were sure that he would…

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BUSTED EGGS

1942

This is a story that I’m ashamed of, but I’ll tell it anyway because it’s part of the memories and it had a happy ending.

Shortly after our marriage, we moved into a little 2…

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PHYLLIS BRINGS A GIFT

1944

The story that I am going to tell about this memory of Phyllis is a tribute to her love, loyalty and demonstrated devotion to me. Som may find it too revealing but it is what…

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PHYLLIS FOLLOWS

1944

When I was drafted into the Navy in 1944, the first stop, as with all recruits, was Boot Camp. In boot camp the main objective was to teach the recruits that they have no rights,…

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PHYLLIS BUYS THE MONTROSE HOUSE

1947

Just before I was discharged from the Navy, Phyllis and Margie had gone to live with my parents. My parents lived in a rented caretaker house on a big estate in Altadena. The house consisted…

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BRIAN COMES HOME

1949

So far there have been several stories that start with: “This is probably not the kind of story that a 90 year old should be telling to his children or grandchildren.” Well, this one may…

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BRIAN PLAYS TRICKS ON PHYLLIS

Over the years both Phyllis and I, when the weather allowed, went barefoot around the house quite a bit.

Since my feet were bare quite a lot, I developed considerable dexterity with my toes. Some…

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MUSH AND GOO / PHYLLIS BEATS BRIAN

Daughter Margie has reminded me that Phyllis and my life together was not all mush and goo, as may have been suggested in some of my writings. Yes, we sometimes had our differences, but beneath the…

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PHYLLIS LEAVES BRIAN (AND THE SAGA OF THE POTATO FARM)

1951

This story is not entirely about Phyllis; although, she was involved in the potato farm right up to her ears in the way that it affected her family life, her husband, her kids, her finances…

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PHYLLIS MOVES TO THE DESERT

1954

This story begins with seemingly unrelated events coming together to cause what happened to happen.

Event number one:
In 1940, when Phyllis was 16, she went with her aunt Margaret to spend a week…

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THE BOAT WAS SINKING

This is two stories in one. They tie together. We were water skiing at Lake Isabella with our little P14 with the 45 horse outboard motor. Our skier had fallen and we were motionless in the…

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BRIAN COOKS WEENIES

Phyllis worked in the office as a receptionist, a secretary, a bookkeeper and a good buddy to anyone who came in and wanted to talk, of which there were many. It’s a wonder that she ever…

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BRIAN CUTS A DISH

I was making something and I needed a piece of smooth plastic about four inches square and about one eight inch thick. I had been through all the stuff in the garage and hadn’t found anything,…

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PHYLLIS’ HISTORECTOMY

In the fall of 1958, after going through quite a period of suffering from “female trouble,” Phyllis reluctantly decided that surgery was the only solution. She was admitted to Pasadena Memorial Hospital.

At the time, we…

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PHYLLIS GETS TOUGH

In 1964 Mike Montejo, a tile contractor who did tile work for us, told us that his wife Happy Montejo, who was a real estate broker, had a couple of lots for sale at a…

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THE DOCTOR CAME TO THE HOUSE

In 1975 Phyllis and I bought a houseboat. Phyllis had been wanting a houseboat. Phyllis liked to be “right on the water.” When we went traveling in our motorhome, it was my job to find a…

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WHO’S THE BOSS?

The relationship and the marriage and the life of Phyllis and Brian was an equal partnership! I know, because I was heard to say on more than one occasion, “We’re equal partners, but remember, I’m the…

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PHYLLIS GETS TWO DOGS

1996

This is one of my favorite stories because it was one of Phyllis’ favorite stories. She liked to tell the story of how she got the dogs and when she told it I had the…

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PHYLLIS BUYS THE BREWSTER HOUSE

1997

In 1972 Phyllis and I built a house for Lenny Brewster. It is a big, rambling, rustic, ranch house on a hill on 13 acres of native desert. Lenny and I never had a contract…

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PHYLLIS’ INHERITANCE

Phyllis and her stepmother, Maxine, had a very good relationship. They were good friends and Phyllis and I looked after Maxine after Phyllis’ father died. We made many trips to Laguna, where Maxine lived and…

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BUSTED HEAD

2005

In late September 2005, Phyllis and I and a whole lot of other people attended a fund raiser sponsored by the High Desert Community Foundation, of which our daughter Margie was the president, at the…

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PHYLLIS GETS A NEW SHOULDER

This is not a fun story, as most of them have been, but it is part of the memories.

On November 5, 2005, Phyllis had a shoulder replacement. She had been suffering severe pain in her…

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BRIAN HURTS PHYLLIS

2008

This hurt was certainly not intended by me. Rather than causing hurt it was my intention to protect her. I may have misinterpreted the remark that she made, but this is how it looks to…

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WE HAD IT ALL

2009

WE HAD IT ALL

“We had it all.” Those words tell it.

There’s no way I can tell all of the things we had. There were so many. These are a few of…

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PHYLLIS HOSTS A PARTY

In late summer of 2008 Phyllis said that she would like to host another Kiwanis installation. This is a special Kiwanis dinner meeting where the following years officers and board members are installed. We had hosted…

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PHYLLIS DIES

My beautiful Phyllis died December 12, 2008, from Alzheimer’s disease. The disease was kinder to Phyllis than it usually is to its victims, in that her decline in the initial, perhaps 3 years, was gradual allowing…

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PHYLLIS’ MARKER

I designed Phyllis’ grave marker. It is really “our” grave marker because I’m on it too. All that is missing for me is my “date of death,” which at present is unknown.

The marker includes mid-life…

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SIX MONTHS HAVE PAST

SIX MONTHS HAVE PAST, JUST HALF A YEAR
SINCE YOU WERE TAKEN FROM ME DEAR

THOUGH THESE Read It

PHLOWERS FOR PHYLLIS

For quite some time as an ongoing thing I made bouquets for Phyllis from the flowers and greenery and native growth in our yard.

Last fall, two or three months before Phyllis died, I made…

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BRIAN FINDS THE LETTERS

In the late spring of 1944 I was drafted into the Navy. Draftees always went into the Army. The Navy was all volunteer. I was drafted into the Navy because I had passed the Eddy test.…

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SHE LAUGHED WHILE SHE TALKED

Phyllis had a cute little characteristic which I have never seen in anyone else. Sometimes she would laugh while she was talking. It made her kind of hard to understand. But it was cute. At times…

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UNTOLD MEMORIES OF PHYLLIS

When I started these writings I had planned to tell my memories just as they were so that they would be real memories not doctored up, watered down versions of what really happened. I have done…

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IT STILL HURTS

It is September 3rd 2009. In six days it will be nine months since my beautiful, wonderful Phyllis was taken from me.

I have been told about how the hurt and grief will heal with time.…

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