It Still Hurts

It is September 3rd 2009. In six days it will be nine months since my beautiful, wonderful Phyllis was taken from me.

I have been told about how the hurt and grief will heal with time. I don’t think that I will ever know how much time it takes, because I don’t even want it to heal! I want to keep Phyllis and how wonderful she was and how much I loved her fresh in my memory. That will hurt! But that’s how it has to be.

As I think back on my life with Phyllis, I think, God it was good, but I have also thought that there were things that I could have said or done that could have made it even better.

I don’t chide myself with the thought that I might have done even better. After all this was my first try at being a husband and I think I did a Damn good job.

I just want to remember, and I want others to remember, how good it was and how long it lasted, and if it doesn’t heal and continues to hurt. SO BE IT!